100-Word Stories

At 35 years old, I’m approaching five years of sobriety from drugs and alcohol, and three years without placing a single bet. God broke me so I could be put back together like only He can do. I am a new resident of Smithville, Texas (don’t ask), and upon moving here seven months ago, I thought I’d meet a lovely Jesus-following woman by now that I can pursue, but it has not happened yet. It’s okay. As Paul says, I am running the race marked out for me. If that includes a wife and kids, God will make it happen. If it doesn’t, He won’t. Either way, I follow Jesus.

I’ve been married almost six years. After our first year of marriage, my husband walked away from the Lord, decided he no longer wanted children, and during that second year, we were almost divorced four different times. God used many people and sources these last five years to remind me that He is with me in this marriage, and that He still has a plan. I stand here with some answered prayers, and some still unanswered. One of the answered prayers is our daughter, and one of the prayers still in the works is salvation for my husband and that he would return to church.

I grew up more and more mad at God the more that happened to me. I am VERY familiar with suffering (ex. I was first molested at three years old, and that is also the age that I started getting beat with a belt) and have developed mental illness because of this, and I have also found out later in life that I am also autistic. Even in my 30s, I’m still learning about things that are wrong with me, and there have been times that I’ve given up and tried to kill myself and honestly I still don’t want to be alive. But I love God more.

Youth sports. Youth sports and coaching. Youth sports, coaching, and an emphasis on winning. I want my kids to learn how to play, be good teammates, win well, and lose well, but this last season has me frustrated in a big way. I disagree with the coach and his coaching style. I want to represent Jesus well in my interactions, but in truth I am angry and frustrated. I feel like I am walking into battle, and I need the armor of God. I need His wisdom, His patience, and His grace. Knowing that He is with me gives me comfort and hope that this battle is not mine alone.

Ten months of being jobless and alone, I had to come to the realization that I must move back in with my parents. My initial thoughts were defeat and that I failed as an adult, but as time went on, I realized that this is where I needed to be. In this season back home, I have grown not just emotionally, but mentally and spiritually. My family has helped equip me with the tools to leave my world behind and move into God’s world. Each day I am reminded that I am loved and valued in His eyes, and that each season is worth the process.

The last several months have been a season of watching some of the people I love most hurt, suffer, and struggle. In particular, my mom is really having a hard go with what looks to be bile duct cancer. One thing I know is that God is glorified when His people gather and pray. I am sure God is doing more than this, but if the only thing He is doing is using my mom’s health as a way to stir a few people to be in prayer, then we can trust and believe that He is being glorified even in the midst of something as horrible as cancer.

There have been times this past year that I’ve woken up in the middle of the night with my heart and mind racing, sleep evading me. During the day, things seemed fine, but that awakening in the middle of the night was some stress tapping me on the shoulder, saying, “hey, notice me!” In those times, God’s Spirit has prompted me to pray the verses I’ve memorized in my D-Group. As I recall the truths of His Word, my perspective shifts, the anxiety calms, and my heart can relax, rest, and trust in Him. His Word is a lamp to guide my feet and a light for my path.

I have two friends who are battling cancer. One of them was diagnosed with cancer a few years ago and had been in remission. The cancer has come back just recently, and it seems to be more aggressive than before. He has started chemo in the last month again at the Mayo Clinic. My other friend found out a few months ago he has stage 4 colon and lung cancer and has had three chemo treatments to this point. He will find out next week if the chemo is making a difference in his body. Both of them continue to trust God and have joy despite the cancer.

One of the hardest things right now is my brother experiencing mental health issues. He’s been really hard to be around, and it’s hurt me, and my wife, and also my siblings. I struggle with praying for him. Because I sometimes don’t want to, but I also sometimes forget. I’m trusting God to change him. I feel like I’ve lost my brother, but through this the Lord has helped me create and enforce good brothers, and He has reminded me that the change I seek in my brother’s life will come from God’s hand.

As a rising senior in college, I often find myself caught in the uncertainties and doubts of what is coming in the next season of my life. This summer I had the opportunity to intern with the Ridge, and it’s been an experience that the Lord has used to teach me so much about work, faithfulness, redemption, and generosity. I’m still not sure what my life will look like after graduation, but I’ve seen and heard the stories of His sovereignty and faithfulness over the lives of His people, and I’m trusting Him to lead me as He has for so many others.

My mom recently passed away after fighting Parkinson’s for 20 years. About five years ago, our Creative Arts team told my parent’s story for Ridge Press. This summer, while taking care of all the end-of-life details, my dad was meeting with a lawyer who had googled my mom’s name and found this story. Here is a young man, who didn’t know my parents and doesn’t attend church, but because of the story of my parents’ love for Jesus and love for each other, he has had an encounter with Christ. If you wonder what good can come from a disease, moments like these tell you the why.

As our family continues to live and love in our community, we are praying for healing of broken families. And through that, that we would see the power of the Holy Spirit through individuals. That Jesus would become the justification of life, and through the early stages of sanctification that reconciliation would begin to become a real possibility. And the prayer that we would ask from others is that we would not neglect our own marriage in the process.